Wal-Mart is being talked about a lot lately. Anytime I hear the name, I am reminded of how my husband and I met. Why? Cause I got him at Wal-Mart.
I had just graduated high school 2 months before and was going to meet a guy that I knew for a date. Bob* worked at WalMart in the automotive department and that's where we decided to meet up. Well, I was waiting for him to tidy up around his register when in walked this very hot guy with a dirty smudge on his nose. I knew immediately that I would rather go out with the stranger than Bob, but felt stuck. For some reason, Stranger Andy and I hit it off really well, and talked the whole time I was waiting for Bob. We walked around the car accessories aisle, thoroughly discussed the multitudes of cheap stereos and franky, flirted our asses off. Still, I was committed to my original date. As we were preparing to leave, Bob went to say his goodbyes and put one last item back in the warehouse area. It was then that Andy struck. He slipped his number into my purse and pretended like nothing happened. (I won't go into detail about that fact that he had just given his number to the lady at the counter, Gigi, who was needing help with some car issues.) So, off I went with Bob, a silly grin that had nothing to do with him stretched across my face. The next day, I developed a horrible ear infection and went to the doctor. After coming home, I dug into my purse and pulled out the slip of paper with Andy's home number scribbled on it. The phone rang and rang, when finally his mother picked up. Andy wasn't home. I politely left my name and number and asked her to pass on the message. She did and within 15 minutes, I was chatting with him like we had known each other forever. He cracked me up with his wonderful sense of humor, so when he asked to take me out that night, it was hard to say no. I tried though, cause my ear was hurting. But Andy would not be refused and pretty soon, he had talked me into just going out for a few games of pool and a quick dinner. He came to pick me up, but then couldn't find my house. After he had passed it several times, I waited for him at the curb. We played pool, as planned and went to the Waffle House for a late night dinner. It was the best date ever. Yeah, I know, sounds pathetic, but it wasn't great because of where we went, but the connection we felt. It was amazing. The next morning, I was all hummy smiles and sunshine. My sisters had a grand time teasing me about this "love at first sight" encounter, but I knew it was something real. Andy called me that afternoon and we made plans to see each other again. After that, it wasn't ARE you going to see him, but WHEN are you. We became inseparable. Shortly, thereafter, we had the discussion to make it exclusive (not that either of us had been out with anyone else during that time). Not long after that, came the "I love you"s and the rest is history.
This July, we will celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and 9th year as a couple. I still remember Andy's face with that grease smudge so long ago and am reminded of how lucky I am to have someone so incredible to share my life with. And all I had to do was get him at Wal-Mart.
* Some names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Trapeze Artist
I am a clutz. Always have been, always will be. Many are the times that I have hurt myself in the dumbest way. Take for instance, the time that I broke my arm. I was in the fifth grade, about 10 years old, when it happened. I was playing on a swingset and fell off. A SWINGSET people. At age 10. Sad. I had no business being on it to start with, as we had outgrown the thing years before. It was one of those that had the metal tube frame, a slide at one end, a line of swings and a teetor totter at the opposite end. Old school style, you know?
Anyway, my stupid self was hanging from the pole across the top that held everything and swinging by my arms. Somehow, I managed to swing my body right off the set and into the air, landing with a thud on the ground nearby. Jason, my friend who's backyard we were playing in, came running to my rescue. When he saw it was more than he could handle, he went for his dad. Mr. S came outside and assessed the damage. He sent Jason back in the house to call 911. Jay was soooo excited! He got to call 911! I'll never forget how the boy told me about it while I layed on the ground waiting for the ambulance.
My mom, of course, rushed over after calling my dad at work. She sat with me while the paramedics checked me out and made an educated guess as to what was wrong. I looked up at one of the men and sighed saying, "Did I break another one?" He just chuckled that yes, it was indeed broken, but they didn't know how bad. The paramedics packed up and left without me since it wasn't an emergency. My dad got home and both parents took me to the hospital. I don't recall much after the ride, except when I woke up from having the arm set and put in a cast. First thing I said to my dad was "I'm sorry. I won't do it again." My father, the joker that he was, replied, "Yeah, and I won't break your other arm." The nurses called some folks about that comment.
This incident followed just 3 years on the heels of the when I broke my leg in an ugly accident that included a bicycle, steep driveway and concrete curb. Which had happened only 2 years after the broken collarbone that was absolutely not my fault.
I wonder why my mom never let me mow the yard?
Anyway, my stupid self was hanging from the pole across the top that held everything and swinging by my arms. Somehow, I managed to swing my body right off the set and into the air, landing with a thud on the ground nearby. Jason, my friend who's backyard we were playing in, came running to my rescue. When he saw it was more than he could handle, he went for his dad. Mr. S came outside and assessed the damage. He sent Jason back in the house to call 911. Jay was soooo excited! He got to call 911! I'll never forget how the boy told me about it while I layed on the ground waiting for the ambulance.
My mom, of course, rushed over after calling my dad at work. She sat with me while the paramedics checked me out and made an educated guess as to what was wrong. I looked up at one of the men and sighed saying, "Did I break another one?" He just chuckled that yes, it was indeed broken, but they didn't know how bad. The paramedics packed up and left without me since it wasn't an emergency. My dad got home and both parents took me to the hospital. I don't recall much after the ride, except when I woke up from having the arm set and put in a cast. First thing I said to my dad was "I'm sorry. I won't do it again." My father, the joker that he was, replied, "Yeah, and I won't break your other arm." The nurses called some folks about that comment.
This incident followed just 3 years on the heels of the when I broke my leg in an ugly accident that included a bicycle, steep driveway and concrete curb. Which had happened only 2 years after the broken collarbone that was absolutely not my fault.
I wonder why my mom never let me mow the yard?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Heads Down, Seven Up
This post idea? Yeah, I stole it. I'll think up something original later.
7 Things I plan to do before I die
1) travel outside the continental US
2) have a baby
3) get more life insurance
4) fly on a plane (no, I never have)
5) win the lottery
6) pay off all my debt
7) take a cruise
7 Things I can do
1) make a mean broccoli and cheese casserole (thank you, home ec!)
2) manage 10 kids under 12 (that are NOT mine!) at once while in a museum
3) write legibly with either hand
4) drive a cab or a short bus
5) give my Great Dane a bath, by myself
6) paint a room without making a mistake
7) balance a checkbook
7 Things I cannot do
1) imagine life without my hubby, family or friends
2) point the same direction I am meaning (say left, point right & vice versa)
3) be at work on time
4) give up drinking coke
5) eat seafood
6) cook
7) deal with heights
7 Things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) sense of humor
2) eyes
3) good teeth and hygiene- very important
4) rough hands
5) loyalty and trustworthiness
6) great hair (including on the chest)
7) bowstaff skills
7 Things that I say most often
1) "By all means..."
2) "You know what I mean?"
3) "I dunno"
4) "Man,..."
5) "Big Ol'"
6) "Brand spankin' new"
7) "No lie"
7 Celebrity crushes
1) Paul Walker
2) Johnny Knoxville
3) Sean Connery (about 10 years ago)
4) Nicholas Cage
5) John Mayer (sp?)
6) Ike Barinholtz
7) Will Farrell
7 Things I can live without
1) dishwasher
2) electronic organizers
3) anwering services
4) coupons
5) PMS
6) stupid people and telemarketers
7) automatic soap dispensers
7 Things I plan to do before I die
1) travel outside the continental US
2) have a baby
3) get more life insurance
4) fly on a plane (no, I never have)
5) win the lottery
6) pay off all my debt
7) take a cruise
7 Things I can do
1) make a mean broccoli and cheese casserole (thank you, home ec!)
2) manage 10 kids under 12 (that are NOT mine!) at once while in a museum
3) write legibly with either hand
4) drive a cab or a short bus
5) give my Great Dane a bath, by myself
6) paint a room without making a mistake
7) balance a checkbook
7 Things I cannot do
1) imagine life without my hubby, family or friends
2) point the same direction I am meaning (say left, point right & vice versa)
3) be at work on time
4) give up drinking coke
5) eat seafood
6) cook
7) deal with heights
7 Things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) sense of humor
2) eyes
3) good teeth and hygiene- very important
4) rough hands
5) loyalty and trustworthiness
6) great hair (including on the chest)
7) bowstaff skills
7 Things that I say most often
1) "By all means..."
2) "You know what I mean?"
3) "I dunno"
4) "Man,..."
5) "Big Ol'"
6) "Brand spankin' new"
7) "No lie"
7 Celebrity crushes
1) Paul Walker
2) Johnny Knoxville
3) Sean Connery (about 10 years ago)
4) Nicholas Cage
5) John Mayer (sp?)
6) Ike Barinholtz
7) Will Farrell
7 Things I can live without
1) dishwasher
2) electronic organizers
3) anwering services
4) coupons
5) PMS
6) stupid people and telemarketers
7) automatic soap dispensers
Friday, January 13, 2006
Kodak Moment
Ceiling repair bill: $300
Gallon of paint: $30
New shower stall light fixture: $45
Seeing your older sister's foot sticking through the attic floor into the shower below: priceless
Yes, it happened. Unfortunately, I didn't really get to see it.
My sister was in the attic searching for something, when she tripped and put her foot through the insulation in my mom's attic. Downstairs watching tv, my mother heard the commotion and asked if she was alright. My sister replied that she had fallen, but Momma didn't give it much thought. Until this morning. She went to take a shower in her bathroom, looked up and found a 7 1/2 foot sized hole in the ceiling of the shower.
Then, because my mom is the best thing since sliced bread, she called me to relate this story, so that we could both laugh at Sister. This, of course, makes my day so much better. I am still giggling and trying to picture the events exactly as it happened, but surely the real thing was even more hysterical.
Yeah, I know that sounds mean, but I think of it as Karma getting a little jab in while she could. Because Sister? Is a royal beotch. Maybe it would be a good idea to make her watch My Name is Earl, so she would pick up on the fact that if you do good things, good things will come to you. If you do stupid things, your ass will fall through the floor. It seems obvious that someone needs to teach her that lesson.
And now, I will get to call my hubby, who thinks Sister is a moron already, and retell the story to him. I can practically hear him laughing. (Until he realizes that Mom will probably ask him to fix the hole.)
Gallon of paint: $30
New shower stall light fixture: $45
Seeing your older sister's foot sticking through the attic floor into the shower below: priceless
Yes, it happened. Unfortunately, I didn't really get to see it.
My sister was in the attic searching for something, when she tripped and put her foot through the insulation in my mom's attic. Downstairs watching tv, my mother heard the commotion and asked if she was alright. My sister replied that she had fallen, but Momma didn't give it much thought. Until this morning. She went to take a shower in her bathroom, looked up and found a 7 1/2 foot sized hole in the ceiling of the shower.
Then, because my mom is the best thing since sliced bread, she called me to relate this story, so that we could both laugh at Sister. This, of course, makes my day so much better. I am still giggling and trying to picture the events exactly as it happened, but surely the real thing was even more hysterical.
Yeah, I know that sounds mean, but I think of it as Karma getting a little jab in while she could. Because Sister? Is a royal beotch. Maybe it would be a good idea to make her watch My Name is Earl, so she would pick up on the fact that if you do good things, good things will come to you. If you do stupid things, your ass will fall through the floor. It seems obvious that someone needs to teach her that lesson.
And now, I will get to call my hubby, who thinks Sister is a moron already, and retell the story to him. I can practically hear him laughing. (Until he realizes that Mom will probably ask him to fix the hole.)
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Annual Review
Today, I finally finished my annual review for work. Well, at least all that I have an active part in. Now, it's just left to the higher ups to check it out and determine if I am making the grade. I actually finished most of it several weeks ago, but my boss only got around to having a meeting with me today regarding his approval and any changes he made.
And so far, so good. Bryan said that I am doing a standup job and they are happy that I am happy, blah, blah, blah. Which is righteous. While you may remember in a past post that I said I don't like my job, I certainly don't want to lose it. My feelings come from the mundacity and repetitiveness of my day to day responsibilities. To be honest, as far as employee satisfaction from the corporate standpoint, these people are all over it. My company is big on employees being happy. So, while insurance brokerage may not be as fun as say, professional blogging, it does suite my needs and is full of perks.
Hopefully, all this stress and worry will translate into a fat raise for me. Unfortunately, my company was hit with a huge financial burden a while back and people had to be let go. Granted, this was a year ago, but still, the money isn't flowing quite as freely as it once did. This isn't a big problem for me because (gasp!) I am content with my current salary. Not that I am stupid enough to not want more money, it's just that I've gotten used to little or no raise at past jobs and at the time was making considerably less. And as Don, my co-worker, said "At least we still get a paycheck." Truer words haven't been spoken.
I am grateful that I have a job and income. Purses and awesome bitch boots can not be purchased with food stamps. Not to mention, my dreams of having a child would go up in flames if we lost my support. And, I know that I will get something. We've been assured of that. So, now I just sit and wait for the results to come in. How much and when is it effective?
And so far, so good. Bryan said that I am doing a standup job and they are happy that I am happy, blah, blah, blah. Which is righteous. While you may remember in a past post that I said I don't like my job, I certainly don't want to lose it. My feelings come from the mundacity and repetitiveness of my day to day responsibilities. To be honest, as far as employee satisfaction from the corporate standpoint, these people are all over it. My company is big on employees being happy. So, while insurance brokerage may not be as fun as say, professional blogging, it does suite my needs and is full of perks.
Hopefully, all this stress and worry will translate into a fat raise for me. Unfortunately, my company was hit with a huge financial burden a while back and people had to be let go. Granted, this was a year ago, but still, the money isn't flowing quite as freely as it once did. This isn't a big problem for me because (gasp!) I am content with my current salary. Not that I am stupid enough to not want more money, it's just that I've gotten used to little or no raise at past jobs and at the time was making considerably less. And as Don, my co-worker, said "At least we still get a paycheck." Truer words haven't been spoken.
I am grateful that I have a job and income. Purses and awesome bitch boots can not be purchased with food stamps. Not to mention, my dreams of having a child would go up in flames if we lost my support. And, I know that I will get something. We've been assured of that. So, now I just sit and wait for the results to come in. How much and when is it effective?
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Give Me a Home, Where the Buffali Roam
Andy's dad loves a good joke. He also used to love to mess with Andy when he was a kid. He would tell Andy things as though they were fact, while lying through his teeth. This got my husband into trouble on more than one occassion.
One of these times, I like to refer to as the Myth of the Buffali. See, Mr. B (Andy's pop) somehow convinced Andy that the plural for buffalo was buffali. It took a bit of persuasion, but pretty soon, the idea set in. (Apparently Mrs. B had no idea what her husband was up to, cause I can't imagine her letting Andy go very long thinking this was fact.)
Anyway, the next day, Andrew got to school and started telling his friends about what he had learned. At first, the others didn't fall for this nonsense, but Andy is an incredible salesman. He managed to sway their thinking in his direction and before long had his classmates agreeing that the plural of buffalo must be buffali. Then, he went to the next class and started the process again. Only this time, a teacher must have overheard him and corrected his grammer. Andrew, being the rebel he is, argued back with her for a little while, but finally realized what his dad had done. Of course, he felt dumb, but mostly he was embarassed. By the end of the day, all his classmates knew what he had been saying and were giving him a hard time about it.
He hasn't trusted his dad since then. At least not without input from a different source.
I dredge up this story from time to time, to remind Andy that he CAN be wrong. (which isn't often in his mind) I like to ask him what happened to the mythical buffali. Did they die off? Are they in hiding with Elvis in Canada?
One of these times, I like to refer to as the Myth of the Buffali. See, Mr. B (Andy's pop) somehow convinced Andy that the plural for buffalo was buffali. It took a bit of persuasion, but pretty soon, the idea set in. (Apparently Mrs. B had no idea what her husband was up to, cause I can't imagine her letting Andy go very long thinking this was fact.)
Anyway, the next day, Andrew got to school and started telling his friends about what he had learned. At first, the others didn't fall for this nonsense, but Andy is an incredible salesman. He managed to sway their thinking in his direction and before long had his classmates agreeing that the plural of buffalo must be buffali. Then, he went to the next class and started the process again. Only this time, a teacher must have overheard him and corrected his grammer. Andrew, being the rebel he is, argued back with her for a little while, but finally realized what his dad had done. Of course, he felt dumb, but mostly he was embarassed. By the end of the day, all his classmates knew what he had been saying and were giving him a hard time about it.
He hasn't trusted his dad since then. At least not without input from a different source.
I dredge up this story from time to time, to remind Andy that he CAN be wrong. (which isn't often in his mind) I like to ask him what happened to the mythical buffali. Did they die off? Are they in hiding with Elvis in Canada?
Monday, January 09, 2006
Betty Crocker Revisited
They cornered me. That's the only excuse I have for agreeing to it.
What is "It" you ask? Well, let me explain. Long ago, in a land faraway, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law thought it would be fun if our families got together once a month for dinner. To keep the work and cost part fair, it was decided that we would rotate houses and whoever was hosting was responsible for food. I agreed, mainly cause I am all about keeping the peace and refusing would have started WWIII with my SIL. This was to be a fun time to bond as a family. (Barf)
Instead, it became a dreaded ordeal that we avoided until the last possible night of the month. When it was our turn, I spent the day cleaning, cooking and preparing only to have them tromp through my house, including my SIL's 2 boys (now she has 3!), destroying my whole day's work. These people would nosy into our business about everything.
Now, when SIL got pregnant for the 3rd time, she was nauseous most of the duration. Therefore, our family dinners slacked off. Eventually, they stopped altogether. My husband and I began to see them less and less. This was fine with me.
Then, 2 weeks ago, my in-laws called us up and invited us out to dinner- their treat (which should have tipped me off). We met up with them at IHOP and had a fairly enjoyable dinner. It was after the meal that trouble started. Andy and his father went outside to "wait for the wimmen" and smoke a cigarette. That was when they caught me. SIL looks at MIL and me, saying "So, are y'all ready to start our dinner nights again?" MIL agrees, I mumble a non-answer. So, SIL takes this as a yes, looks directly at me and exclaims, "Good! We'll get started this month. January is your turn!"
I was blindsided. Feverish in my panic to find an excuse, I stammered. I honestly think this was a planned attack, cause these women knew that if I had had a moment to think, there would have been a reason to not join the family festivities. But there wasn't a moment. Not even more than a few seconds. As soon as SIL realized that she had me, she changed the subject. Next thing I know, we are gathering our things to leave and the decision has been made.
The in-laws will be coming to my house for dinner. Soon. Fabulous.
What is "It" you ask? Well, let me explain. Long ago, in a land faraway, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law thought it would be fun if our families got together once a month for dinner. To keep the work and cost part fair, it was decided that we would rotate houses and whoever was hosting was responsible for food. I agreed, mainly cause I am all about keeping the peace and refusing would have started WWIII with my SIL. This was to be a fun time to bond as a family. (Barf)
Instead, it became a dreaded ordeal that we avoided until the last possible night of the month. When it was our turn, I spent the day cleaning, cooking and preparing only to have them tromp through my house, including my SIL's 2 boys (now she has 3!), destroying my whole day's work. These people would nosy into our business about everything.
Now, when SIL got pregnant for the 3rd time, she was nauseous most of the duration. Therefore, our family dinners slacked off. Eventually, they stopped altogether. My husband and I began to see them less and less. This was fine with me.
Then, 2 weeks ago, my in-laws called us up and invited us out to dinner- their treat (which should have tipped me off). We met up with them at IHOP and had a fairly enjoyable dinner. It was after the meal that trouble started. Andy and his father went outside to "wait for the wimmen" and smoke a cigarette. That was when they caught me. SIL looks at MIL and me, saying "So, are y'all ready to start our dinner nights again?" MIL agrees, I mumble a non-answer. So, SIL takes this as a yes, looks directly at me and exclaims, "Good! We'll get started this month. January is your turn!"
I was blindsided. Feverish in my panic to find an excuse, I stammered. I honestly think this was a planned attack, cause these women knew that if I had had a moment to think, there would have been a reason to not join the family festivities. But there wasn't a moment. Not even more than a few seconds. As soon as SIL realized that she had me, she changed the subject. Next thing I know, we are gathering our things to leave and the decision has been made.
The in-laws will be coming to my house for dinner. Soon. Fabulous.
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