When I Was A Kid...

HaHaHa! I had y'all fooled into thinking I was going to be updating this more often, didn't I? Admit it. You fell for the hype. Too bad, so sad.

Well, how about another story from the great era of my childhood? Sound interesting? Good, cause that's all you're gonna get.

I was 4 years old and hadn't started school yet. Mom was a stay at home mother, those days, so I didn't go to daycare or anything like that. Anyway, my daddy had this ooooold wooden radio that stood on the floor and was probably almost 4 feet tall. The front of it opened up to reveal a record player.

I was always told not to play with that radio. But it was so beautiful with it's big brass knobs and dials. I couldn't resist. Until the bastard thing turned on me. I was having a grand ol' time with it when the record player door fell open and trapped me under it. Mom had to be called in from the other room where she was vaccuuming to help me out. She lifted the door, grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. Talk about caught red handed.

Then, as any good mother would do, she said "You have been TOLD about playing with this radio! Now, I am going to spank your bottom." I, in my youthful courage, retorted, "You have to catch me first!" Now keep in mind, SHE WAS ALREADY HOLDING MY ARM. In her other hand was the long pole of the vaccuum (you know, those old school style ones), so I began running circles around her, trying to keep her from popping me. It didn't work. She dropped that thing and proceeded to get me everytime I went around. It was not funny at the time.

I even remember what I was wearing that day. My denim skirt with the rainbow at the bottom and the beloved white sandals, worn down until the sole would flap everytime I took a step. That day, they slappity, slappity, slappitied so fast, it was just a big blur of leather against plastic.

She doesn't remember this incident. I say that's awfully convenient.

The end.

Hopefully, something interesting will happen and I can blog about that. Until then, you get this crap.

P.S.- You know those pickles I mentioned a short time ago?, Well, I found them! Kroger. But not in the condiment (Does anybody else giggle when using that word? No? Okay, nevermind.) aisle. They are in the diary section near the butter and cheese, where they keep the cream chees and premade ravioli. Kroger Brand Kosher Spears. However, after 2 weeks and 3 jars, I can finally say I've had enough. For now.