Is it that time already??

My parents were married for almost 23 years when they divorced. Like every child who's been through this (only I was 19), I always hoped they would reconnect. They dated each other for a while, however it didn't seem to work out. Then 5 years after the divorce was final, they reconciled. In March of 2005, Mom and Dad remarried and were happier than ever before. These two were not the same people that had separated in an ugly fight that had ended with him throwing us both out at 2 am. They had lost their resentment of each other and were ready to be together again. Sadly, it only lasted until Sept. 28th 2005.

Now, my mom is dating again. It's only been 3 months since Daddy passed away, and already she is joining the singles scene once more. Of course, it's easy for me to say it's only been 3 months, I have a husband and wonderful friends to support me and help me move on. Who does she have? Just us 4 girls, who in all reality, aren't that much of a help. And I can't imagine the loneliness and emptiness that is left behind when someone, with whom you've spent the majority of the past 30 years, is suddenly and permanently gone. This time must have seemed like an eternity.

She deserves to be happy. Mom is still young, energetic, caring, and full of love to give. Not to mention, she's beautiful and smart. Who am I to tell her that I'm not ready for her to be talking to new men? Who am I to say that I don't want her bringing dates home to the house my father bought and shared with her. How can I expect her to remain alone and sexless. (Yeah, I know, most people don't think about their mom wanting sex, but she is human after all.) Especially when it's not like he's coming back. That's not fair to her. I've told her that I trust her to take it slow and not jump into a relationship right away. But, in all honesty, even that's not my decision to make. Mom is an adult and can make up her own mind. I refuse to make her feel guilty for wanting someone to be with. I won't be angry with her for moving on. Still, it hurts to imagine her with someone other than my Dad.

So, for now, I will stuff it down and encourage her to find her way to a new world of people. I could only hope that she would support my decisions if the roles were reversed. And she would. I can do no less.

Dreaming, Dreaming

Last night, I had one of the weirdest and blood chilling dreams ever. It woke me up and as only those types of dream can, made me relieved to realize that it was indeed all in my head. Not to mention wonder what had incited this horrible nightmare.

It was set in a house in the depths of the jungle. Presumably, the house was my husband's and mine, yet I didn't recognize it. It was set on some sort of isolated cliff, the likes of which you would see in a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. You know, basically a tall pilar of land set apart from the surrounding areas. There was a rope bridge connecting the island to the rest of the world and vines hanging everywhere, but other than that, it was freestanding. A woman entered my dream home and was attempting to attack me. In defense, I grabbed a couple of knives, which convienently appeared out of nowhere. I warned and threatened the woman, however, she continued towards me in her pursuit. Therefore, I was left with no option but to stop her. I slashed at her face repeatedly, but it only slowed her down, not stopped. All of a sudden, I am holding a huge butcher's knife and I thrust it sideways at her throat. It cut through her neck enough to kill her and I was saved.

As dreams often do, the setting changed adruptly and I was standing before a movie poster for a newly released horror fick outside of a theater. This is where the details become more foggy. I do remember a deep freezer somewhere nearby that contained human body parts, such as feet, heads, and hands. Though I don't know if it had anything to do with the previuos chapter of my night or if the freezer was merely a prop gimmick for the movie. I do recall talking with someone and we were discussing the remains as if they were of no importance.

Then, as previously stated, I woke up and had to look around me to get a grip on my surroundings. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I was back in bed and once again dreaming.
Only this time, it wasn't a nightmare, just odd.

My husband and I were in a hotel room with his sister's 3 sons. We had taken them on vacation with us and were just returning to the room from a trip to the zoo. The phone rang and it was his sis, checking on the boys to make sure they were doing okay. I told her about all of our touristy adventures of plays, museums, and sightseeing. The boys actually disappeared the moment we entered the room, never to be seen again. After hanging up, we decided to enjoy the room sized hot tub in our suite, which came with a fountain and built in radio. Only, the thing was prehistoric as far as electronics go. The controls were on the front of a divider wall, which doubled as a wet bar. The thing was massive and we were having trouble getting it to work. Suddenly, the fountain sprang to life and began spewing steaming hot water all over the place.

At this point, the alarm starting going off and I had to rise and shine. Actually, I laid in bed for a few more minutes and explained my dreams to my husband because they were just so bizarre. I don't know for sure what caused them, but I can bet you that there will be no more late night snacks for a while. Especially Slim Jims.

So much for updating

I guess I haven't been as good about updating this as I intentioned. I will take the blame this time. Honestly, I've just been having more fun reading other people's sites and have had nothing worthy of discussion. Christmas was quite smoothe this year, so no complaints with that. Therefore,I have put together a list of 50 things that most people probably don't know about me. Because that's what this thing is all about- me.

1) I love living in my city. Yes, I know the politicians here suck, but this is where I grew up.
2) I hate jello with a passion. Especially when it has chunks of fruit floating, yet suspended in it.
3) I am not very emotional. (except sometimes during PMS)
4) I get nervous when changing lanes (anywhere) or driving on the expressway.
5) I love my Playstation.
6) I am a habitual procrastinator.
7) My palms sweat when I have to go to the doctor, even if for just a check-up.
8) My family usually annoys me more than my in-laws.
9) I won't admit it, but sometimes, I can be an oblivious-to-my-surroundings type of driver.
10) I don't like coffee unless it's got so much creamer that it no longer tastes like coffee.
11) I still love Cabbage Patch dolls.
12) I am insecure about myself and often wonder what people think of me.
13) I can be unbelievably lazy.
14) I love my mother and have been very protective of her for as long as I can remember.
15) I sucked my thumb until I was 12.
16) I am totally addicted to fast food.
17) I am scared (nay, paralyzed with the fear) of dying.
18) I read trashy romance novels and can sit for HOURS with one.
19) I am materialistically selfish. I prefer to shop for myself and therefore, have a difficult time with holiday shopping.
20) I have an almost unhealthy addiction to buying purses.
21) The best compliment I have ever received was recently when my mom told someone that I was her rock and she doesn't know what she would have done without me when my father and grandmother died within 3 days of each other.
22) I whine when I don't feel well.
25) I still wish upon a star, but mostly cause wishing is easier than getting out there and working for what I want. (see #13)
26) I believe that ketchup is a vegetable.
27) I had my first kiss in kindergarten with a certain Josh person. (At least I think he was the first, I was kinda the class ho back then.)
28) I lost my virginity at 17.
29) I wish I was skinnier, but not enough to really do anything about it. (see #16)
30) I don't like my job very much, and miss my days at the daycare. But frankly, they just don't pay enough and some of those folks are weird.
31) I was much more stressed at said daycare job, but also more fulfilled.
32) I think there is nothing so full of potential as a freshly sharpened pencil.
33) I have way more plastic food containers than I could ever use.
34) I can be extremely impatient, especially with someone who won't help do for themselves.
35) I love to paint rooms, mostly the cutting in around windows, doors, ceilings, etc. It's very peaceful and zen-like for me.
36) I think it's funny when my husband chases our cat around with his radio control cars.
37) I have to sleep with my feet outside the covers.
38) My sister's husband tried to mess around with me once. I pretended to be asleep and rolled over so he couldn't.
39) I've never told my sister and it's never happened again. (in his defense, he was really drunk)
40) I am ashamed that I didn't finish college, but I absolutely hate the idea of going back.
41) I really want to move, but we can't afford to right now.
42) I don't know how to rollerskate. My mom and I took a lesson once, but it didn't work out.
43) I sing while driving.
44) I love cheddar cheese and when I was young used to tell people (including complete strangers) that I eat a lot of cheese so I won't use up all the toilet paper.
45) The first time I met Andy's extended family, I set a towel on fire.
46) I prefer the winter over the summer.
47) I enjoy saurkraut.
48) I am scared that my daddy didn't go to heaven.
49) My family doesn't really celebrate any holiday very much. We have Christmas, but it's pretty modest.
50) I am a lucky person.

One of those mornings

You know the saying, "it just doesn't pay to get out of bed"? Yeah, it's been one of those mornings. It started out well enough. I convinced Andy to take the first shower, so that I could sleep the extra 20 minutes and had no difficulty picking out something to wear. That in and of itself would usually consitute a great start to the day. But then, Andy started fussing at me for reading in the bathroom. See, I am always running behind in the morning, so he made the valid argument that if I didn't get engrossed in my book and would JUST HURRY UP ALREADY, I might make it to work on time. However, despite being ready to go on time (a calander marking event) with my lunch made, no less, I was 15 minutes late. Why, you ask? Simple- I am a dunce. I dropped my key in the grass last night and didn't notice till I went looking for it this morning. I found it, but not before calling Andy in a panic. Oh, and in the middle of this conversation, I admitted that my gas light had come on (a major pet peeve of Andy's- doh!). Therefore, I HAD to stop for gas. I managed to make it here, but found my desk covered with "Things To Do" from my boss.

I wanna go home and start over. Too bad life doesn't have redos.

Blegh.


Update-

It just got better. The vending machine in my building? Has been restocked with the cherry coke. Also, I LOVE the vending machine with it's $.55 20 oz. drinks. What a deal.

Age of Aquarius

The Water Carrier
January 21 to February 19

Traditional
Aquarian Traits

Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

On the dark side....

Intractable and contrary
Perverse and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached

Okay, I can totally believe most of this, but perverse?? That's a bit much, methinks. (stop giggling y'all.)

Here's some more info.

Aquarius About Your Sign...

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.
Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.
They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.
Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners. They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.
In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them. They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.
Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.
Among the faults to which they are liable are fanatical eccentricity, wayward egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society, and a tendency to be extremely dogmatic in their opinions. Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for humanity in general. Circumstances - for example, continuous opposition to a cause they hold dear - may cause the atrophy of the openness of mind that is one of the Aquarian's most attractive traits. They may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness or, worse, a tense, threatening silence which may suddenly burst out in eruptions of extreme temper, these are all part of the negative side of the Aquarian. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into a misanthropy toward the whole of mankind.Possible Health Concerns...As Aquarius is said to govern the legs from knees to ankles and the circulation of blood, its natives are susceptible to ailments particularly in the legs and ankles, such as cramps, and are also liable to spasmodic and nervous complaints, as well as wind, catarrh, diarrhea, dropsy, goiter and delirium tremens - so that the avoidance of alcohol is important for those Aquarians who have a taste for it.
LIKES
Fighting for Causes
Dreaming and Planning for the Future
Thinking of the Past
Good Companions
Having Fun
DISLIKES
Full of Air Promises
Excessive Loneliness
The Ordinary
Imitations
Idealistic
Here are some interesting Aquarius facts:

Ruling planet is URANUS
TURQUOISE is the primary color
Birthstone is Garnet or Amethyst

AQUARIUS goes with Libra, Gemini, Sagittarius and Aries. (Best match is Libra)

Best Match For Aquarius Is LibraVery nice match up for Aquarius. This is one of the most compatible signs for you. They may or may not stay around forever due to their nature, but most likely they will due to the power of the union.. Don't hold too tightly though and you can be sure keep it going for years, forever even.

Worst Match For Aquarius is Virgo Try to avoid this match up if you can. True love conquers all, this is true, but even true love will be tested to the extreme here! You will think the Aquarian is nuts, and he or she will think you are ancient. Communication will be difficult, and there will most likely be a power struggle.

Hmmmmm... Andy is a virgo.

Room with a View

Okay, so I know that when I started this blog, I said that I wasn't going to post anything very serious. Well, now that I've gotten a little more comfortable with it, I thought it was time to add something just a bit more personal and close to my heart. I decided to write this poem yesterday, after having lunch with Andy, who agreed that it might be theraputic. Since, he's the hubby, it had to be read by him first, which he did last night. Now, this is not being put out here for sympathy or pity. It's simply a way for me to put my feelings into words and hopefully, begin to "process my grief". Thanks for reading.

It still Hurts

I can’t say goodbye to the man I loved so much.
I can’t stand the idea that I will never again feel his touch.

I long to hear him, one more time, say
I love you in his own special little way.

It still hurts deep down inside,
Knowing that this strong man has died.

I know that he will always be with me,
But it won’t be the same as it used to be.

Never again, can I look upon his face,
Because he is forever in his resting place.

There is still so much living to do,
But I just can’t stop feeling so blue.

They say the hurt will fade with time and age,
There is going to be another, easier stage.

Still, the grief, it fills me to the core,
My heart remains bruised and sore.

My thoughts are only of his lingering spirit,
I shake my head, but nothing can clear it.

Memories of the days gone by,
Make me want to scream, rant and cry.

While I cherish the pride and love he had.
I never knew love could make one so sad.

I suppose I should process my grief,
Maybe then I could find some relief.

Yet, I have my doubts that it will go away,
It seems the dark clouds are here to stay.

I will continue on with life as he would have wanted,
But my heart and soul will be forever haunted.

I miss you, Daddy.

Lyrics of My Life's Song

I think today, I will follow the lead of Casey and ponder a song that I have always LOVED and really means a lot to me. (even if it is a little hokey)

Lean On Me- Al Green

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But, if we are wise, we know that there’s always tomorrow.

Lean on me, when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on. For it won’t be long, ‘till I’m gona need somebody to lean on.

Please, swallow your pride, if I have made, you need to borrow.
For no one can feel those of your needs, that you won’t let show.

You just call on your brother, when you need a hand, we all need somebody
to lean on. I just might have a problem, that you’ll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me, when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend,
I’ll help you carry on. For it won’t be long, ‘till I’m gonna need
somebody to lean on.

You just call on your brother, when you need a hand, we all need somebody
to lean on. I just might have a problem, that you’ll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load, that you have to bear, that you can’t carry,
I’m right up the road, I’ll share your load, if you just call me.

There are a great many other songs that have more sentimental value, such as Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox and ZZ Top's Tush (these were played at my father's funeral and were his personal favorites) or just about anything by the great George Thorougood, but I've always felt like Lean On Me was my own personal theme song. I have had a lot of family and personal drama over the years and this song reminds me that I don't have to handle it alone.

Thank God.

Recent Ramblings

Okay, I know, I know. I should have updated this thing long ago. It's just been crazy busy at work, so I haven't had much time to play around on the net, like I used to. (At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.) In fact, I'll be surprised if anyone bothers to check here anymore.

Let's see... what's been going on?

First and formemost, I survived Thanksgiving with the family. Score: Kim-1; family-0. Actually, it wasn't as bad as previously feared. The in-laws behaved themselves and my hubby admitted that he enjoyed my mother's meal over his own's. (Is own's even a word? Well, it is now.)

Then, my sisters and I had a great big fight over some stupid e-mail and name calling. I can't believe that as adults we can still be so easily baited by each other, just like when we were kids living at home. We don't even live that close together for goodness sakes. Guess that's the beauty of family- they can still irritate you from long distance.

But that's all worked out now. We've exchanged apologies and promises to be better, more loving sisters. Hmmm, we'll see if that works out, but I'm not holding my breath. It's okay though, as long as we are on friendly terms, I'm happy.

In truth, I love my sisters, but I have very little in common with them and simply prefer the company of my girls. (holla!) They are my best supporters and sources of fun, advice, and sisterly love. That's what matters, not the blood in their veins.

Moving on. I also recently attended a party, hosted by one of said girlfriends. It was 80's themed and a totally tubular, knarly and radical blast from the past. Hell, it was as much fun as living in the 80's. Thanks, Stef. I had a fab time.

There of course, has been some shopping. It is the holiday season after all. And what better way to get in the mood of giving than to buy yourself some presents? I am a big believer in celebrating the little things in life, so I was overjoyed at finding a magnificent soap pump dispenser for my bathroom. Keep in mind, I cried when I purchased my first shower curtain because it was so awesome, so maybe I just get a little carried away. My mom went ahead and gave me my Christmas present- cash- so now the hunt is on for some wicked new black boots. My current bitch boots are getting past their prime and need to be retired. They have a round toe and stacked heel for God's sake!

It's hard to believe that it is almost time to start wishing people a Merry Christmas and I'm just not ready, anyway. I am dreading this holiday, a first time experience for me, and have been trying to get myself a little more pumped by getting the tree up early and wrapping all the gifts my mom has bought for the grandkids. (I do that every year, but I'm starting way ahead of time) We've even tried playing our Christmas CD's while sipping hot cocoa, but since it was like 70 degrees outside, things weren't quite the same. Maybe we'll give it another go now that the weather is getting cold and there is rumor of snow in the forecast.

Speaking of which, the temps have dropped way down, which means that the puppy gets to come in every evening and enjoy the warmth of gas heat. She's a well behaved dog, really. She has a mat the she lays on and doesn't do much unless you give her reason to think you want her attention. However, this has caused my cat to not come out of the bedroom after 6 pm, when Duchess bursts through the back door like a freightrain. I don't think Delilah has realized that the dog couldn't care less about her anymore. Shh, don't tell them, but I've already gotten them some Christmas presents. (Yes, Liz, I buy them stuff, too. lol.)

So, my life hasn't much changed since the last time I was here. Just gotten older and maybe a little wiser. {snicker} One thing I wonder though, why is that you can only see those black hairs that grow sporadically on your chin or neck when it's most inconvienent to pluck them? I can never find them when I am an inch from the bathroom mirror with tweezers in hand, but put me behind the wheel of a car and I suddenly become Wolfgirl.

Oh, well. Must get back to the business of living. I promise I will try to be better at keeping up with this blog thing.

The little things

With all this talk of being thankful (couldn't you tell that I am a grateful person by my last post?) I decided that I would post a list of my dislikes and likes. These are the little things that need to be celebrated or will drive one mad (at least, me) that I mentioned in my first post.

Dislikes

• people who drive in the turning lane, while trying to merge
• people who think that I am going too slow and have to ride my ass
• people that I think are going too slow, so I have to ride their ass
• people who come to a COMPLETE stop to make a right hand turn when there is no obstruction
• PMS and it's ensuing hormone surges
• really nasal or otherwise annoying voices
• the stupid and too sensitive auto-flushing toilets at my work that soak your underwear if you don't sit down fast enough cause they think you are done when you haven't started
• arguing with my hubby, cause he can turn ANYTHING around and confuse me
• when my FIL makes rude comments about our political preferences
• getting up in the morning
• clothes that have to be ironed
• the fact that to lose weight, you have to watch what you eat
• the fact that I have no drive to watch what I eat
• itchy wool ( I swear I am about to take this sweater off and return it to the sheep from whence it came)

Likes

• when I have the answer before my boss asks the question
• when my hubby comes up from behind and kisses me on the neck
• when my shoes make my feet look small
• Xanax
• when my favorite song plays on the radio and I'm alone in the car, so I can belt it out as loud as I want
• cherry coke and mr. pibb
• mexican food and lots of it
• romance novels
• my hair- when it chooses to cooperate
• office holidays- even better if they are ones no one else gets
• office supplies
• when I hit every green light on the way to work or wherever
• getting personal mail
• getting my bills paid before they are due

Okay, so nothing revelational here, but I feel better for putting it in writing. Now, I have to go get some scotch tape.

Giving Thanks?

As we all know, Thanksgiving is coming along very soon. Unfortunately, for most of us, that means "quality time" with the in-laws. That is where I stop giving thanks.For the most part, my in-laws are pretty agreeable. They just get on my nerves and I dread spending time with them.

My reasons? They are constantly in our business. They have gotten better, I guess cause my hubby has put his foot down more than once. But it used to be that they wanted to know how much money we had in savings, telling us what kind of car we should drive, when we should get engaged (that was his sis) and whether or not we could live together before marriage.
It was bad.

Nowadays, it's when are you going to have a baby? How can you be democrats? Why did you buy such and such? When are you going to come back over and visit? (umm, thought that was what we are doing) It's enough to drive you insane.

Thanksgiving is even better, cause then the questions come in stereo. I get harassed by cousins, aunts, and uncles on top of the usual FIL, MIL and SIL. AGGHHHHH!!

My husband's biggest complaint is the food. It seems that everyone wants to bring the fanciest and most complex casseroles and it becomes a competition. He is looking for the mashed potatoes and lima beans when they are right in front of him mixed together in some kind of cream of something soup and dried onion creation. Peas, you want peas? Why eat plain peas when you can have English Pea Salad? Corn? We got corn. Right here in this corn, squash and green bean blend. What do you mean you don't like all of you veggies in one big freakin' dish? It's gourmet! I will make an exception or two to this, because I for one, will only eat green beans while in a casserole and absolutely LOVE my MIL's sweet potato casserole.

After dinner, we have the joy of pulling names for the Christmas gift exchange. It never seems to fail that I get the name of the one person I know the least about. At least, they have finally come to their senses and started a new tradition of the Dirty Santa game. Only thing is, all the gifts have to be Christmas related. I am so afraid that one year, I am going to pick a reindeer sweater like Mark Darcy wore in Bridget Jone's Diary.

Here is what I AM thankful for. I will be forever thankful that this holiday only comes once a year.

Workin' Woman

So this week is annual review week at work. This makes me extremely nervous. Not because I do a bad job, actually it's almost the opposite. When I accepted this position, it was with the understanding that the woman I replaced was retiring and would be soon followed by someone else. I was warned that the company would not be replacing the second woman and I would be expected to assume her duties as well. In all reality, this is still one of the easiest jobs I've had. I worry because I am often not busy enough. Don't get me wrong, there is usually plenty to fill my day, but sometimes, I have nothing to do but surf the net. And on more than one of these occassions, I've been busted, so to speak. Though my boss has never mentioned it or chastised me for my slacking, it niggles in the back of my mind that one day it will come back to bite me in the ass. Yet, here I am, starting a blog - at work.

Hopefully, my boss will be kind or forgetful enough not to even bring up all my "spare" time during my review conference. If not, I guess I'll have to think pretty quick on my feet. Maybe I should point out said lack of mentioning or chastising, but that doesn't seem the way to gain approval.

I should really try harder at being a more dedicated employee. This IS a super fabulous job. Even if it's a little boring. Not too many places give you, like, 9 holidays and 3 weeks vacation during your starting year. There's also the Spirit Committee, of which I am a proud member, that sets up fun and "incentive" type activities for the colleagues. Then, there is the pay and benefits. Let's face it, this is the best paying job that I've had and it offers unbelievable bennes (as we call 'em).

I recently was informed that we will be going on a business trip in March. It will be my first time to fly and go away for business (I love saying that), so I can't wait. My boss has just assigned me the task of researching hotels, that's gonna be fun. Not only that, but they've given me permission to bring my hubby along and extend our time there to make it a vacation. Of course, we'll have to pay for his plane ticket and additional costs for food, etc.

Yeah, I really don't need to blow this.

Guess, I should get back to work now, huh.

First time user

Okay, so I am a first time user.

Some friends recommended starting this to help vent frustrations that pop up in everyday life. I say, in everyday life, because I cannot imagine (yet) truely discussing serious problems in an online forum. Maybe that's just because I am a first time user. To me, some issues are just better left unwritten or can only be comforted by another human being. Still, I suppose if you don't let it out about the little things, they can be the ones that drive you mad.

There are a great many things that I would like to get off my chest and need a place to put them. Some are things that are just too petty to even start a conversation about, some are subjects that I have already worn out the ear of my friends and family with and a few things are topics that, frankly, I am just too embarassed to talk about.

I don't know how in depth I will go with this, because I have a hard time putting any information on the net. Plus, with no pc at my home currently, it can be difficult to find the time and privacy to post too much while at work. Still, I am going to give this a try and see where it takes me. Who knows, maybe putting my "everyday" thoughts and vents in writing will be theraputic. Goodness knows, I can't afford a real therapist.